Being on a tight budget, we decided to opt for camping rather than fancy hotels, but on realising we didn’t own a tent we *upgraded* to a caravan! I googled some campsites and came across one that sounded pretty good; “Luxury Accommodation. Visiting Wanganui? Why not treat yourself and stay with us” The photo of the caravan looked nice enough too, though I wondered about the fine print....
Picture is for illustrative purposes onlyActual caravan may by older than the
one in the photo
So off we went on our adventure, driving north along the coast until we reached our destination Wanga-Vegas! Once you cross the bridge the main street is quite pretty, autumn trees, cafes, art deco buildings and old style street posts adorned with hanging flower pots, what a lovely town!
We decided to check-in before looking around. I asked for directions that led us to the outskirts of town to the camp ground. We parked up and went to reception. An eccentric man with a thick moustache & orange fake tan opened the door by pulling on a piece of string attached to the door handle, we went in. “Hello girls, do you like my piece of string? Now my lawn mowers broken but I can open the door with a piece of string!” Right... “So your checking in? What are you going to do here, there’s a war bunker out of town, I’m planning tours there, and for dinner, you must try the hospital meals, cheapest in town, I’ve been going there for 18 years!’ Uh-huh...? “The website said you have a swimming pool?” I asked. “Oh no we cant compete with the local pool can we, get in your bikinis girls!” He chuckled.
We reluctantly paid & got the keys, trailer 29 girls! The string pulled and the door flew open again, around the corner and there in all its glory was... the trailer park from hell! Several dingy caravans crammed into a backyard, backing onto a large swamp land. The ground was muddy and a stench of stagnant water hung in the air. One of the units had a heart-shaped sign on it ‘Honeymoon suite’, you’ve got to be kidding right?
We fumbled with the key and got into our caravan, it was everything we could expect; faded floral curtains, floral bedspread, plastic flower arrangements and a bar fridge that wouldn’t close. Home sweet home!
We decided to spend the least possible time here so jumped in the car & continued our adventure along highway 4 to Patea. There we followed the signs to ‘Beach’, at the end of the road was an even larger sign ‘DUMPING GROUND’, amazing they combine the towns only beach with a dumping ground. After climbing over piles of sticks, branches and broken computers we made it down to one of the most spectacular beaches in New Zealand. With dunes of jet black sand, fierce waves and vast ominous cliffs.
Driving back we saw a restaurant on the highway that looked like a castle, could be good, so we parked up and went in. An odd looking woman came to greet us. “Just wanting to see the menu please”. “Don’t have to” she replied “Its all out” She led us through to the smorgasbord of wilted vegetables, dry chops, sponge cake & jelly. We politely declined, not feeling so hungry after all!
We returned to our caravan and locked ourselves in for the night. With noodles, tequila & tunes, life in the trailer park didn’t seem so bad. There was only one unfortunate instant when we had to use the ladies, arm in arm we made a dash in the dark for the eerie shower block, peed as fast as we could then ran back and locked ourselves in once again. As darkness fell we blocked out our surrounds and enjoyed our holiday, applying acrylic nails and vintage outfits for a trailer park photo shoot! We laughed at the various advertisements around the caravan; “Water supply contains lime, it's good for you”, “Motel situated next to scenic wetlands, perfect for an evening stroll”, “Voted best accommodation in UK travel guide”! What a joke!
Sometimes, its good to do things a little out of the ordinary. I mean if we’d stayed at the Hyatt, there wouldn’t be a story in that would there!
No comments:
Post a Comment